


with arms outstretched

by sylvianorth



Series: we should become more adventurous [3]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Cults, Ego is a jerk, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Parent slash big brother Kraglin Obfonteri, everyone is trying their best, gay disney princess mantis, growing up in a cult, the gang as kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylvianorth/pseuds/sylvianorth
Summary: “I don’t think we’ll have any problems with him,” Ego tells Mantis as he tucks her up in bed.“I am happy for you,” Mantis says. Her mind is racing. “Will he live here with us?”“Of course he will. And then you can finally have a brother. Haven’t you always wanted a brother?”Mantis gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Will I be able to leave my room?”“We’ll see, Mantis,” Ego says and kisses her forehead. “Good night, Mantis.”“Good night, Ego,” Mantis says.“I love you, Ego,” Mantis says.The lock clicks behind him.





	with arms outstretched

**Author's Note:**

> SUPER warnings for child abuse - please be advised if that triggers you! Also warnings for gratuitous references to Disney princesses, but Mantis is one basically so it fits lbr. Title from the Rilo Kiley song of the same name. Totally un-proofread. Expect Peter's side of the story in a few weeks or days idk. Enjoy~

There were always women around. This is what Mantis remembers most clearly from her childhood.

 

Ego always introduced them to her and said, “She’s going to be your new mom.” Mantis fell in love with each and every one of them. They would play with her hair and tell her stories and tickle her and make her laugh.

 

Most of them already had children. Occasionally, they would have their babies on the ranch, in a small room, holding Mantis’s hand while Ego stood by and watched. It didn’t make any difference, though.

 

They would always disappear in the end.

 

 

-

 

 

She never knew her own mother.

 

 

-

 

 

Ego says he cut her umbilical cord himself.

 

Chewed right through it, he says, with his own teeth.

 

 

-

 

 

Ego says he loves her. Ego says, “I am the only one who will ever love you.” He kisses the top of her head and locks her door tight behind him.

 

Ego says, “The world out there is evil. No one will ever look out for you the way that I will.”

 

Ego says, “Don’t disappoint me, Mantis. I can make you disappear like all the others.”

 

She is a good little girl, never speaking out of turn and she keeps Ego happy. She smiles and stands when Ego enters the room and keeps her white dress clean and never whines, even when she’s tired, even when she’s hungry, even when she’s sick.

 

She cries in private for all the women and children who disappear, for all the mothers she’ll never have, for all the siblings with Ego’s eyes that she lost. Once, she asks Ego what happened to them.

 

“They disappointed me, Mantis,” Ego says. “You won’t disappoint me, will you, Mantis?”

 

“No, Ego,” she says.

 

“I will be good, Ego,” she says.

 

“I love you, Ego,” she says.

 

 

-

 

 

Sometimes Ego takes her with him when he leaves the ranch. They drive for two hours until they get to the city and she holds her hand out the window, spreading her fingers wide and letting the wind rush between them.

 

She asks Ego why they don’t just live in the city. He seems to go there constantly; she thinks it would be more practical than living on the ranch and driving back and forth.

 

He had cocked his head like he was considering his answer. “These people aren’t believers,” he said. “We need to stick together. These people will poison your mind.”

 

“Yes, but couldn’t we live in the city and just stick together there?” she asked. Mantis likes the city. She likes the cars and the lights and television and the animals and the colorful clothes and when Ego lets her drink Coca-Cola. On the ranch, the women all wear the same long-sleeved white dresses and the men all wear white shirts and soft white pants. In the city, they wear whatever they like.

 

Ego sighed and shook his head. “Mantis, sometimes I feel like you just try to be difficult.”

 

“I am not,” she promised. She’s afraid of him when she becomes difficult. When she becomes difficult, he becomes angry and turns red and yells and raises his fists. He only yells because he loves her. “I like the city.”

 

Ego crouched until he was eye-level with her. His eyes were blue and they crinkled at the corner when he gave her a smile. “I know you do, Mantis. But the city isn’t safe. You can get lost here. What if something happens to you? Think of how much that would upset me. Only I can keep you safe.” He pressed a dry kiss to her forehead. “Come on. We’ve got to meet someone.”

 

“Another sibling?” Mantis asked, hopeful. Maybe this one would stay around for a while.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

 

-

 

 

One of Mantis’s mothers gives her a doll. The doll has rosy red cheeks and big brown eyes and long thick black hair. Mantis loves it. She combs the doll’s hair every night before bed, one hundred strokes and tells the doll her secrets.

 

Her mother disappears after two months. Her mother’s little girl, the one with a shy smile and Ego’s eyes who came to the ranch with her, who Mantis met very briefly before Ego closed the door on her, disappears with her.

 

Mantis weeps at night and hugs her doll close to her. Her tears dry in the doll’s pretty black hair and her nice pink dress gets wrinkled and stained from hours of being clutched but Mantis doesn’t care.

 

One day, as they’re driving back from the city, Ego is in a foul mood over a meeting gone awry and Mantis holds her doll in her lap and talks to her.

 

“The next time we’re in the city, I’ll give you popcorn,” Mantis tells her doll. Ego had bought her popcorn once and they never had it on the ranch. It was one of the treats when they went into the city, like milkshakes and French fries. “Ego, can we go back to the city soon? She wants to try popcorn.”

 

Ego slams the steering wheel with the heel of his hand and bellows, “Do you ever shut up? You’re always going on and on about the fucking city, I should just leave you there the next time we visit just so I can get some peace and quiet.”

 

Mantis recoils a little and starts to apologize.

 

Ego reaches across the car and grabs the doll from her hands and throws it out the window before Mantis has time to react. She sees the doll hit the road behind them, then bounce and then disappear.

 

“It’s your own fault,” Ego says when Mantis starts to cry. “If you hadn’t upset me, I wouldn’t have had to do that. You made me do it.”

 

Mantis understands. Whenever Ego does something, it is because she pushed him to it. Whenever Ego yells at her, it is because she made him do it.

 

He does it because he loves her.

 

 

-

 

 

The ranch is quiet most of the time, so unlike the city which is always bustling and where noise hangs thick in the air like fog.

 

Mantis and Ego sleep separately from the others, in their own little building. Mantis has her own little room with her own little bed and her own little door which Ego keeps locked tight. She’s only allowed out when Ego lets her, usually when it’s time for sermon (where she sits in her own little box, away from everyone else) or when he wants to introduce her to her new mothers. She isn’t allowed to roam the rest of the ranch but she watches from her window and wants so badly to be outside that it hurts.

 

She loves when her mothers come to visit her and tell her stories about the outside. One of them, a woman with a gentle voice and kind eyes, tried to take her out to talk to the others. They’d gotten several hundred feet from the front door when Ego found them. He smiled at them and asked where they thought they were going before he very calmly slapped Mantis’s mother across the face and herded them back inside.

 

Mantis did not see her again after that.

 

“I thought that these were the good people,” Mantis said that night when Ego came to say goodnight. “I thought it was just the people outside who were bad.”

 

Ego sighed and sat down next to her on the bed. “These are good people,” he said. “But you just aren’t ready yet, sweetheart.”

 

“When will I be ready?” she asked.

 

“Soon,” Ego promised.

 

The lock clicked behind him.

 

 

-

 

 

Throughout her childhood, Mantis remembers Ego talking about a woman named Meredith with equal parts adoration and anger. He says he loved her spirit, her tender heart, her humor, her music. He says she left him once and she never came back. He says this broke his heart beyond repair. He says he had to hurt her and that this hurt him so much that he will never be over it.

 

One day, they find her son.

 

 

-

 

 

Peter is a whirlwind of energy and laughter. He is so excited to meet them, saying that his mother always said his father was an angel, that he’s never really had a father, that he has brothers, two of them, but now he has a sister, isn’t that cool?

 

Mantis feels herself warm all down her body. _Sister_. She doesn’t know if any of the other children considered her a sister. They always disappeared too quickly and Ego made sure they never had the chance to truly bond.

 

She would like to bond with Peter.

 

They sit in a booth in a restaurant. Ego is handsome in his leather jacket and a pair of jeans but Mantis is still in her white dress. Ego has given her shoes, a pair of pink rubber flip flops that hurt between her toes that he will take away the moment they get to the ranch, and she’s drinking a Coke while they wait for their food. The restaurant is mostly empty, save a young couple with a laughing toddler, an old man reading the newspaper and a small group of teens. “So, Pete, who’ve you been living with?” Ego asks. They already know; Ego has been following Peter and watching him for weeks now. But Ego says that they can’t tell Peter that, so Mantis promises not to.

 

“Oh, um, just my adopted dad Yondu,” Peter says with a shrug. He has an earnest face, blue eyes and a radiant smile, overlong reddish bangs falling over his brow every so often. Mantis wants to be his sister so badly.

 

“Yondu, huh?” Ego echoes thoughtfully. Mantis knows very little about Yondu, only that he and Ego know each other once a long time ago and that Yondu betrayed Ego. Ego says he will have to hurt Yondu like he did Meredith and he says that he hopes Peter will understand. “What about your brothers?”

 

Peter takes a sip from his milkshake. “Rocket and Groot? They were in foster care together. Then one day, they went home and their foster parents skipped town without telling them and Yondu and Kraglin adopted them. They’re the best, dude, I can’t wait to introduce them to you. Rocket is probably the smartest person ever. He built this drone thing for school once and Yondu lets him take stuff apart so that he can rebuild it, like the toaster and car engines and stuff. It’s awesome. And Groot is like crazy super strong and amazing at sports, but he’s so nice and sensitive and he’s knows more about plants than anyone I’ve ever met. He’s got the most insanely awesome vegetable garden ever. Oh, God, and then there’s Gamora, and she’s just - ” He stops talking and blushes. “Sorry,” he says. “I’m just talking and I haven’t even asked about you guys.” He grins at them, so hopeful. “Mantis, where do you go to school?”

 

“I’m homeschooled,” Mantis answers, lying like oil. She wants to hear more about Peter and Groot and Rocket and the outside. She doesn’t want to tell him Ego’s lies. “I have private tutors.”

 

“Really?” Peter asks. “Wow, that’s so cool. So you must be even smarter than Rocket!”

 

Ego chuckles. He pats Mantis’s shoulder. “She’s very smart. But I want to hear more about you, Pete. I can’t believe we found you! What are you into? Do you play sports or are you part of any clubs or what? We want to know you.”

 

“I don’t play sports or do clubs or anything, y’know, I mostly just… Hang out..” He can’t stop staring at Ego and grinning. “What do you do?”

 

They’ve prepared for this. Ego sat her down and they went over their story together. “I run a counselling retreat in the desert,” he says. “It’s like a rehabilitation center for people who are overcoming addictions or who have suffered a major loss or just need to get away and have someone to talk to.” He grins, shows his white teeth. “It’s a few hours outside of town. You should come see it sometime.”

 

“Yeah, I would love to,” Peter gushes and he’s so gentle and innocent and unlike Ego. “I can’t wait for you to meet Yondu too!”

 

Ego holds out a hand. “Why not just hold off on telling people about me just yet, kiddo,” he cautions. “You might not want him knowing I’ve come back. He might get weird or jealous about it. He might think I’m going to steal you away or something.”

 

Peter eyes him. Mantis wants to scream, make a scene, do something that will get them thrown out and end this conversation and keep Peter safe and away from Ego. Instead she sips her Coke, her hands wrapped tightly around the glass and she says nothing, does nothing. “I don’t think Yondu will care,” Peter sighs. “He’s not really the most… involved parent.”

 

“Just humor your old man.” Ego shows his pretty white teeth again. “Just keep it hush-hush.”

 

 

-

 

 

Mantis watches Peter’s receding figure get smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror as he walks away until he completely vanishes from sight like her doll on the highway. Her stomach twists in knots and she balls her hands into fists, tight enough that her nails bite into the soft skin of her palms.

 

Ego adjusts his seat and says, “I think that went very well, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, Ego.” Mantis is staring out the window now. She wonders how far she could get if she hopped out of the car right now and made a break for it.

 

She buckles her seatbelt.

 

 

-

 

 

Ego meets with Peter twice after. He meets him in the city and he does not take Mantis.

 

Ego comes home happy both times, smiling and kissing Mantis on the head.

 

“I don’t think we’ll have any problems with him,” Ego tells Mantis as he tucks her up in bed.

 

“I am happy for you,” Mantis says. Her mind is racing. “Will he live here with us?”

 

“Of course he will. And then you can finally have a brother. Haven’t you always wanted a brother?”

 

Mantis gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Will I be able to leave my room?”

 

“We’ll see, Mantis,” Ego says and kisses her forehead. “Good night, Mantis.”

 

“Good night, Ego,” Mantis says.

 

“I love you, Ego,” Mantis says.

 

The lock clicks behind him.

 

 

-

 

 

Peter calls Ego’s phone one night. Mantis and Ego are sitting on her bed; she can hear his muffled voice on the other end, yelling and upset.

 

Ego smiles when he hangs up. “Seems we’re going to have him here sooner than I thought. I have to go pick him up. I’ll be back later.” He kisses Mantis on the head and leaves.

 

There is no click behind him and Mantis feels her heart race. She waits until she hears the crunch of his tires pulling away before she checks.

 

The door opens with a creak.

 

Mantis lets out a breath.

 

Mantis knows where Ego keeps his spare keys.

 

Mantis is back in her room when Ego returns, the covers pulled over her head, the keys under her mattress.

 

 

-

 

 

The fire glows bright orange and the smoke makes it hard to see and harder to breathe.

 

Peter’s form is slumped against hers. Blood drips from his nose and mouth. “Come on, Peter,” she urges, pulling him along. “Just a little farther and we’ll be out.” Her eyes burn and she can’t stop coughing. She doesn’t know where Ego went. There’s a crash behind them when a beam breaks. The roof is collapsing over them and Peter’s head is lolling. His eyes keep slipping shut. “Peter, you can’t go to sleep. Please, Peter, just a little way ahead.”

 

A tall, thin man that Mantis has never seen before comes running toward them. For one wild moment, Mantis thinks he’s one of Ego’s followers but he yells, “Pete! Pete, c’mon, kid, we’re getting you out of here.” He grabs Peter roughly around the waist with one arm and grips Mantis by the hand and starts dragging them out. His strides are longer than Mantis’s and he’s stronger, more able to support Peter, who looks very pale. Mantis reaches up with her free hand and clings to the man’s wrist where he’s clutching her.

 

The man pulls her and Peter out of the building. He lays Peter down and pats his cheeks. “Pete, you gotta stay awake. Keep them eyes open. You need to stay awake, Pete, you little shit. Yondu’ll kill me if anything happens to you.”

 

There’s yelling coming from the other side of the building and Mantis turns to see Ego fighting another man, several yards away. He tackles the other man around the waist and they fall the ground, punching and struggling against each other. The other man strikes Ego in the head repeatedly. What happens next happens very quickly: A flash of silver at the exact same time the strange man’s fist clutching something large comes down hard on Ego’s head for the final time. Her vision is blurry from the smoke but she hears the man from the fire let out a howl of anguish and go running over, kicking up clouds of dirt in his wake.

 

“Yondu,” he keeps saying, over and over like the prayers they did at sermon ( _Ego, Ego, Ego is the light in the darkness, Ego will lead us to our salvation_ ). He’s gathering the other man into his arms. There are dark stains all over their clothes. His hands are on the other man’s stomach where the stain is shiny and keeps growing. “Yondu, Yondu, oh, fuck, Yondu, no, no, no, no, Yondu.”

 

Peter is struggling to go over to them but he can barely move. His breathing is labored; he keeps gasping “Yondu” and his eyes can hardly focus. Mantis helps support him again and they collapse next to where the man from the fire is cradling the other in his arms, whispering to him. “Don’t leave me, Yondu, baby, don’t leave me.” Peter takes the unconscious man’s big hand between his own. There is blood everywhere. It looks black in the glow from the fire. Ego is motionless on the ground. Mantis can see the black around his head, spreading out from under his hair like a halo. His mangled face is still handsome. He looks surprised.

 

She wants to spit on him.

 

All of the other buildings are burning too and Mantis can smell smoke and blood and there are sirens in the distance. Her last thought before she faints is that this is the end of the world Ego warned them about.

 

 

-

 

 

In the hospital, they put tubes in her nose and down her throat and stick her with needles. She is overwhelmed and afraid and starts to cry but there’s a woman with kind eyes who strokes her forehead and tells her it’ll be fine. She says they’re giving her clean air to breathe and they’re just checking on the oxygen levels in her blood. Mantis doesn’t know what any of that means but the woman’s hands are warm and comforting. Her room is white with a window overlooking a busy street and she asks for Peter.

 

“He has a concussion,” the woman says. She puts tape over the needle in Mantis’s arm. “They’re doing tests on him right now.”

 

“Will he be all right?”

 

The woman nods. She keeps giving Mantis strange looks like she doesn’t quite know what to make of her. “We’ll have to keep both of you for a few days for the smoke inhalation, but yes, you’ll both be all right.”

 

“What happened to Ego?” Mantis asks. “Will he come back for me?”

 

Slowly, the woman shakes her head. “No,” she says. “He won’t.”

 

The woman says, “I’m sorry.”

 

Mantis says, “Why?”

 

 

-

 

 

Later, the nurse tells her that they all died. Ego set the other buildings on fire when the other men came for Peter.

 

Mantis weeps for them, the people she saw from a distance, the people she never knew. She curls up in her white hospital bed and sobs until her eyes swell and her pillow is damp under her cheeks.

 

 

-

 

 

The thin man from the fire is in her room when she wakes up from a dream where she was living in a small house at the bottom of the ocean. In the dream, her door had a pretty bell hanging over it that chimed whenever she entered or exited. The man has a bandage wrapped around his forearm and the left half of his face is purple and swollen from bruising. He looks as lost as she feels.

 

“Hello,” she says. Her tongue feels thick in her mouth and smoke is all she can taste and smell, even hours later. She wonders how long she’s been asleep.

 

The man raises a hand to her in an uncertain greeting. He’s chewing on his fingernails, his eyes drifting away from her face to the floor and back. Finally, he says, “Peter’s asleep. They said he needs to rest. It’s funny, I used to think it weren’t safe to sleep with a concussion, but apparently it helps you heal.” He scrubs a hand over his face. He looks as though he hasn’t slept in days. “I’m Kraglin. Peter wanted me to talk to you. He said you’re his half-sister. He wants you to come home with us.”

 

“You live with Peter?”

 

Kraglin nods, slow. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I’m one of his guardians. The doctor says you and Pete’ll be good to come home tomorrow.” He raises and lowers one shoulder. Mantis sees he’s holding a stained grey shirt in his hand. “If you wanna come with us, you can.”

 

Mantis doesn’t know what to say. She opens and closes her mouth a few times and Kraglin holds up his hands. “You ain’t need to decide right now. Just chew on it for a bit.”

 

The door opens and two boys around Mantis’s age enter. One is black and very tall and thin and he immediately flings his arms around Kraglin’s waist, pulling him close. Kraglin hugs him back, squeezing his eyes shut. Mantis can see his knuckles whitening as he clutches the boy’s shirt and buries his face in his hair. The other boy is small and Latino, wearing a pair of thick glasses and he gives her a wary look as he stays on the opposite side of the room. His face is covered in scars. Mantis can see them extend down his neck and disappear down his shirt. “The nurse says he’s still in surgery,” the smaller boy murmurs to Kraglin. “She don’t know much more than that.”

 

“Peter is in surgery?” Mantis asks. Her stomach clenches and churns and her voice seems childish in her own ears. “But I thought you said he was all right.”

 

“He is,” Kraglin says. “Pete’s fine.”

 

“Then who’s in surgery?”

 

Kraglin stares at her for a long time before he says, “Yondu,” in a very quiet voice and Mantis remembers Kraglin hugging a limp form against his chest, begging him to stay alive. A dark stain in the dirt. Peter holding a pale hand between his own.

 

“Oh,” she says. “Peter mentioned him. Ego said he knew Yondu a long time ago.”

 

“Yeah, he did,” Kraglin agrees simply. “We was all pretty good friends. He’s hurt real bad right now, thanks to Ego.” He gestures to the two boys. “This is Groot,” he says, nodding at the one he still has his arms around. “That’s Rocket.”

 

Rocket grunts, still eying her. His brow is furrowed. He makes her feel small. “You ain’t coming home with us, are you?”

 

“Rocket, shut the fuck up,” Kraglin sighs. He sounds so tired. Rocket looks down at the ground, his ears turning red. “She can if she wants to.”

 

“I won’t if you do not want me to,” Mantis whispers. “I would probably just be a burden, like Ego always said.”

 

Kraglin shakes his head. “Just think on it,” he says again.

 

 

-

 

 

The car ride is silent. Ego would always play music when they would go to the city (“Brandy, you’re a fine girl,” he loved to sing along and she was too scared to sing with him although she wanted to), but Kraglin has the radio turned off and the window rolled down as he chain smokes. Peter sits in the front seat and Mantis leans her head against the window in the back, watching the houses go rushing by.

 

She used to pick out houses when she’d go into the city with Ego and pretend that they were hers. She would make up a new life for every house. She was safe in those lives, safe and loved with her mothers and siblings, all the ones she never knew and could never say goodbye to. Her favorite was a grand three-story house painted white with deep green shutters. Her mother wore a pink dress and gave her a kiss every night before she went to sleep in that house. She had many siblings and none of them had Ego’s eyes.

 

The house Kraglin parks in front of is modest, two stories, a little shabby with fading brown paint and a covered porch and a few cats roaming around the overgrown front yard. Mantis falls in love with it instantly.

 

Kraglin gives her a tight smile. “Here it is,” he says. He takes care to help her and Peter get out of the car, cupping her elbow gently as she steps onto the curb as though she’s made of glass. Mantis notices that he never really meets Peter’s eye, even as he supports him up the cracked walk to the front door. There are two well-worn chairs on the porch, surrounded by cigarette butts and empty glass bottles. Kraglin sees her looking at them and he winces. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I tried to clean up but I must have missed that.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Mantis says.

 

Rocket and Groot are waiting for them when Kraglin opens the door. Groot pulls Peter into a hug the moment they’re inside while Rocket stays back a little.

 

“I missed you too, buddy,” Peter murmurs. His voice is hoarse. When Groot and Peter break away, Rocket gently, awkwardly, wraps his arms around Peter’s waist before shuffling away.

 

The house smells like salt and cigarettes. Most of the furniture is as worn as the chairs out front and there are tools spread out on the floor of the living room with the remains of what looks like a stereo system. There’s a pillow and blanket strewn on the couch and potted plants in the window.

 

“Let’s go see your room,” Kraglin says to Mantis, gesturing toward the stairs. The steps creak under her feet and Mantis grabs Kraglin’s hand, startling him a little but he doesn’t pull away.

 

Ego always pulled away.

 

Mantis’s new room is bigger than her old room with a window that looks out over the backyard (green grass, a few trees casting long shadows in the late afternoon sun, a garden) and a bed covered with a red blanket. “It ain’t much,” Kraglin says, looking embarrassed. “We ain’t got nothing for a girl, so I figured you could just decorate with stuff you like, like the guys did with their room.”

 

Mantis is busy looking at the door. “There’s no lock,” she observes, jiggling the knob a few times.

 

“Nah,” Kraglin says, “If a lock’d make you feel better, you could sleep in me and – in my room ‘til you get settled. It’s got a latch.”

 

“No,” Mantis says, a little too quickly. “No, I do not want to be locked in, not anymore.”

 

Kraglin turns and looks her in the eye. His eyes are big and pale blue and his face is still bruised. “Hey.” He squeezes her hand. “I ain’t gonna lock you up, okay? I promise.”

 

Mantis flings her arms around his waist. He’s stiff but slowly relaxes. Soon his arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her close.

 

It takes Mantis a moment to realize that she’s crying. Ego hated when she cried. He found it distracting, disgusting. He preferred her to always be happy. He would say, “Smile, Mantis, it hurts me to see you so upset” and she would.

 

It doesn’t seem to bother Kraglin. “It’s okay,” he soothes. “You’ll be safe here. Ego’s gone.”

 

She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. She hates that Kraglin has seen her like that. He’ll think that she’s weak now and want to get rid of her.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says instead. He hugs her close again.

 

After Kraglin goes downstairs to make dinner, Mantis sits on her new bed. She bounces a few times experimentally. The blanket is big, warm, soft as a lamb. She holds it to her face and rubs it against her cheek. The window opens easily and she presses her face to the screen, looking out at the green yard, the tall trees. She can go outside whenever she wants.

 

The thought is terrifying and exhilarating. Her heart races, blood thrumming in her ears.

 

 

-

 

 

“Go ahead,” Kraglin says, nudging her a little. “Get whatever you’d like.”

 

Mantis pauses, her hand still tightly holding Kraglin’s. “What should I get?”

 

Kraglin gives her a lopsided grin, one of the ones she likes, the lovely ones he gives her when he forgets how heartbroken he is. “I look like an expert in women’s clothing?” he asks. “Hell, I can barely dress myself. Trust me, you don’t want me picking out your clothes.” He nudges her again. “Get what you think looks cool. Make sure to get good shoes. You’ve gotta have more than them flip-flops.”

 

Mantis has never been in a thrift store before. Ego never took her shopping, preferring to run mundane errands like that on his own. He would just give her new dresses and refused to let her comment on them. She takes her time now, running her hands over the clothes, rubbing them against her face and holding them against her body to see how they’d look on her. She could spend hours feeling the silky shirts and soft skirts made of cotton and worn denim. Shoes are also a challenge and she spends what feels like ages waffling between a pair of purple sneakers and black boots that lace up to above her ankles before grabbing them both. She knows Kraglin doesn’t think his opinion is worth anything, but she does.

 

She finds him staring at a small porcelain dog with cartoon eyes with such a broken look on his face that she feels herself tear up. “Kraglin,” she says softly.

 

He snaps to attention immediately, his expression shifting back to neutral. She holds up the shoes, silently asking his opinion and he smiles a little. “You can get both if you want.” He must sense her uncertainty because he says firmly, “Two pairs of shoes ain’t gonna break the bank, girl.”

 

Ego always took her flip-flops back when they were back at the ranch. He never let her keep one pair of shoes, let alone two. She stares at them in wonder.

 

Kraglin buys her both pairs of shoes and lets her change into one of her new outfits to wear out of the store, a pair of black leggings and a knee-length green dress which she pairs with her new combat boots. Kraglin gives her a thumbs-up when he sees her and it makes her smile. She thinks she looks nice; she likes how the green looks against her skin.

 

She says, “I like wearing colors. They make me feel happy.” It makes Kraglin smile, his tired eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

 

-

 

 

For a week after Mantis moves in, Peter stays home from school and Kraglin stays home from work. Peter mostly keeps holed up in his room but Kraglin spends time with Mantis. He takes her out for breakfast sometimes and buys her ham and egg sandwiches and doughnuts, which she likes, and coffee, which she doesn’t. She prefers green tea and sips it as they sit outside the café, Kraglin smoking and drinking black coffee. He doesn’t eat much and Mantis knows his eyes are red-rimmed and tired behind his dark glasses.

 

“How you feel about going to school this time next year?” Kraglin asks her one day as he plucks a cigarette from its pack.

 

Mantis looks up from her sandwich. _School_. Ego had laughed when she suggested it. “All schools do is lie,” he’d said. “They’ll stuff your head full of silly stories and make you stupid. You don’t wanna be stupid, do you?”

 

Mantis did not want to be stupid, but she did want to be like the kids she saw sometimes when she went into the city with their books and bags and friends. “I’d like to go to school,” she says after a moment. “Rocket does not seem to like it though.” Rocket always grumbled in the mornings as he packed up his things, muttering that Mantis didn’t have to go, so why did he have to?

 

Kraglin shakes his head. “Rocket don’t like nothing,” he scoffs, lighting his cigarette. “But it ain’t about liking it. It’s about needing it. I didn’t finish school – you wanna end up a fuck up like me?” He points at himself with a self-deprecating smile.

 

Mantis thinks it’s a loaded question, but she is suddenly bold. She reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of Kraglin’s. His fingers twitch but stay put. Exhaustion and sorrow radiate off him in waves. “I like you. There are worse people to end up like,” she tells him gently.

 

It makes Kraglin smile. “Come on. We’re gonna go somewhere I think you’ll enjoy.”

 

He turns on the stereo on the way there. The music is louder, harsher and angrier than anything Ego ever listened to. She doesn’t like it, but Kraglin must and he is in so much pain that she doesn’t say a word. She stares out the window instead, wondering if Kraglin is going to take her to his pawn shop that he has mentioned before, promising he’ll take her there some day and finally they pull into a parking space, Kraglin nodding at her. “You’ll love it.”

 

The library is the biggest building she’s ever been in: a five-story building with high ceilings and a shiny wood floor, filled with shelves that are filled with books.

 

Stacks and stacks of books. Ego never let her have any, although her mothers would often arrive with them and they would read to her. Ego taught her to read and he let her read what he deemed acceptable, which meant the pamphlets he printed and handed out to his followers to encourage others to join the fold. But she could read, and she read rather well, and at the library there were more books than she ever thought possible. Books filled with lines of words and pages that are fragile and crinkle under her fingers. Books that aren’t Ego’s pamphlets about the end of the world and how he would rebuild society after the end. She wanders the aisles and trails her fingers down the spines marveling _how can there be so many? Don’t they run out of stories?_ And then she gets sad – she’s missed out on so much.

 

“What should I get?” she asks.

 

Kraglin shrugs. “Just get whatever looks interesting,” he says, scanning the shelves. “Maybe something like textbooks?” He leads her to the children’s area and looks until he finds an area marked NON-FICTION. “Science? And then some storybooks to balance it out.” He vanishes, leaving Mantis staring at a book about biology. She considers it for a moment and puts it down and starts stacking others in a pile – a book about science, a book about animals, a few history books. Kraglin returns with a few of his items own.

 

“Fairy tales,” he says, holding them up. “You can’t just do non-fiction, right? You need variety. Fairytales are fun.” He opens to a few illustrations and Mantis sighs over how pretty they are. A beautiful woman with her gold hair hanging out a tower window, a girl in a red cape lost in the woods, a handsome prince on a white horse.

 

“I like this one,” Mantis agrees.

 

“They have movies too. I got some that you might like.” They read the synopses together, Kraglin silently vetoing _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ and _Sleeping Beauty_ and they settle on _The Little Mermaid_ and _Beauty and the Beast_. Mantis has never been to the movies, despite Ego’s repeated promises that he would take her “someday.” She clutches the DVDs and books to her chest, overwhelmed at all the experiences she never had and how much possibility there is now.

 

An older woman explains that the library lets her take the books home for free as long as she has her card and brings them back on time with no damages. Mantis nods firmly. She’s never felt so responsible.

 

The books take her to new places, worlds she could have never imagined, she learns new things and she cries into her pillow for her life that was stolen from her, the lives Ego stole from others.

 

Peter finds her sobbing one afternoon when Kraglin is in the garage. He sits down on the floor next to her bed and doesn’t say anything. When she reaches out to him, he takes her hand, linking their fingers together.

 

 

-

 

 

The first week is quiet and Mantis slips into a routine. She wakes at the same time Groot and Rocket do (Peter stays in bed and no one bothers him) and she brushes her teeth and washes her face and hands with the soap that smells like flowers that Kraglin bought especially for her. Kraglin is always awake by the time she, Groot and Rocket go downstairs, sitting at the table with his coffee and half-smoked cigarette. He’s got shadows under his eyes but he manages a half-smile for them.

 

Rocket and Groot have breakfast and make their lunches and leave, catching the bus at the stop a block down from the house and then Kraglin takes Mantis to the café for breakfast and then to the library. She averages a book a day, sometimes two, and he encourages her to get whatever she wants. Sometimes they walk by the dog park where she squeals with delight at how cute they are and then they return home. Kraglin keeps the house sealed up tight when they’re gone and Mantis notices him double-checking the locks every night before she goes to bed. Peter is usually awake by the time they get home but he doesn’t talk to them. His eyes are so sad and faraway, like he’s staring at something in the middle distance.

 

Mantis spends these quiet days reading, either on the couch while Peter watches television or up in her room with her window open or out loud to Kraglin. Kraglin likes when she reads to him and he is gentle with his corrections and always willing to help her look up definitions of words she doesn’t understand.

 

One day, Groot and Rocket come home with three strangers in tow. Mantis and Peter are on the couch watching a sitcom and Kraglin is in the backyard pulling weeds. Mantis hears Rocket’s voice say, “Just keep it down, okay?” and he leads Groot and a boy and two girls Mantis doesn’t know come in. The boy spots Peter and immediately pulls him into a bear hug while the girls hang back.

“I am very sorry about your father,” the boy says.

 

“Thanks.” Peter’s reply is muffled where his face is pressed against the other boy’s shoulder. Peter is taller than the other boy, but he’s still being lifted up, feet hang uselessly in the air.

 

When the boy puts Peter down, one of the girls comes over and hugs Peter too, gentle like she’s afraid he’ll break. The other lingers in the doorway, looking as uncomfortable as Mantis feels.

 

Groot seems to understand because he nudges Rocket and gives him a pointed look. “Drax, Gamora, Nebula,” he said, gesturing at everyone. “Mantis,” he finishes, pointing at her. “She’s Quill’s sister, used to live in a cult with Ego, lives here now, blah blah. There, you all know each other.”

 

Drax turns to her. He’s Filipino, tall and broadly-built with a shaved head. He gives her a curious look. “It is nice to meet you. I do not understand how someone as hideous as you could be related to Peter Quill, but I understand that these things happen and I look forward to getting to know you all the same.”

 

“Drax, what the hell, man?” Rocket mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face and knocking his glasses askew. “Didn’t I tell you on the way over to keep shit to yourself? This is exactly the sort of shit I meant.”

 

“Have you seen her? She is - ”

 

“That’s enough,” Gamora interrupts. She shoots Drax a look. Mantis thinks Gamora is very beautiful with her pink hair and dark skin and sharp cheekbones. “We’re here to talk to Peter, not insult his sister.” When she sits down on the couch, Mantis shifts over to give her more room. Gamora doesn’t seem to notice or care about her. “We are very sorry about Yondu,” Gamora murmurs. “Do you need help with anything? I made copies of all my notes from biology and history for you.”

 

Mantis stands and begins to sneak out of the room. This feels private and they’ve made it clear that doesn’t belong. As she goes, she casts a look over her shoulder and her eyes lock on Nebula in the doorway. Like Drax, Nebula has a shaved head but where Drax is bulky and muscular, Nebula is long and lean. Her skin is so pale it’s almost translucent and she has a thick vertical scar over her left eye.

 

They stare at each other for a moment before Mantis leaves.

 

 

-

 

 

“Okay,” Kraglin says, facing Mantis. He holds the two movies up for her to see. “Which do you wanna do first?”

 

Mantis thinks on it before she points to _The Little Mermaid_. Kraglin says, “excellent choice” and puts the disc in the tray before heading into the kitchen to make popcorn. Mantis can see through Kraglin’s smiles and upbeat voice. She knows that he’s trying as hard for himself as he is for her and she wishes she could take away his sadness. She would reach inside, gently disentangle it from his heart and all his insides and carefully fold it up and bury it in the backyard where no one could find it.

 

The smell from the kitchen lures the three boys downstairs and Rocket immediately reaches for some for himself.

 

Kraglin slaps his hand away. “No popcorn unless you watch the movie,” he reprimands.

 

“What the hell, dude? I don’t wanna watch a kid movie,” Rocket grouses.

 

“Them’s the rules.” When Rocket reaches again, Kraglin warns, “One more time, Rocket, and I spit in the bowl.”

 

Rocket pulls away grumbling and sits down on the opposite end of the couch from Mantis. Even though it does hurt her feelings that Rocket doesn’t seem to like her, Mantis tries not to let it show and she smiles at him instead. “I’m very glad you decided to do movie night with us,” she says. Maybe he’ll soften.

 

“It ain’t because of you,” Rocket mutters. When Groot sits down between them with a bowl of popcorn, Rocket gives her a pointed look and shoves a handful into his mouth.

 

Peter takes the armchair, folding up on himself. He has that distant look on his face again and Mantis wants to take away his pain too, and Groot’s and Rocket’s, who is best at hiding it but his eyes tend to get big and wet when no one is looking.

 

Groot hands her the bowl. When Rocket squawks in protest, Groot just shrugs and smiles.

 

Kraglin stretches out in an armchair on the opposite side of the room from Peter, crossing his ankles. There’s an armchair next to him that everyone pointedly avoids sitting in or even looking at. “No talking,” he orders, pointing at Rocket. “And no bitching. I hear one word of bitching and I’m kicking you out.”

 

Rocket flips Kraglin off and Kraglin gives him a warning look.

 

The first half of the movie is beautiful. Mantis is enthralled by the colors and the music and she relates to the princess who wants to be in a different world so much it makes her cry. Rocket gives her a few disgusted looks when she starts to sniffle but Groot makes a shushing gesture and he doesn’t say anything.

 

It’s when the princess’s father yells at her and smashes all of her treasures that it brings back horrible memories of Ego throwing her doll out the window and screaming at her in a rage that her chest goes tight and she can’t breathe and she starts to panic. All she can see is Ego’s face, red and huge, pressed right up against hers. She covers her eyes with her hands and whimpers.

 

The TV clicks off in an instant and there are hands on her back. “Mantis,” Kraglin is whispering. “Oh, Mantis, I’m sorry, girlie. It’s okay. Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a movie.”

 

When she looks up, Groot, Rocket and Peter are all staring at her looking concerned. Kraglin smiles but his eyes are big and afraid. “Hey,” he murmurs. He’s kneeling next to her and rubs her back in soothing circles. “It ain’t real.”

 

Groot shifts closer to her and holds out his hand. Mantis reaches out and takes it, prompting a small smile from him. Peter comes over and wedges himself between Mantis and the arm of the couch, resting his head on her shoulder.

 

After a moment, Rocket sighs. “You gonna live, Mantis?” he asks, deadpan.

 

“I think so,” she whispers. Her heart rate is going back to normal. Her breathing is slowing. “Can we finish the movie, please?” she asks, wiping at her eyes. She wants to be brave. She wants that more than anything. “I’d like to see how it ends.”

 

“You sure?” Kraglin is still kneeling next to her, his palm running up and down her arm.

 

She nods. “I can cover my eyes and ears if it gets to be too much.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Peter whispers, “Rocket got so freaked out during _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_ that he had to leave the room and couldn’t finish the last like five minutes. He didn’t see the ending until last year.”

 

“Shut the hell up, Quill,” Rocket snaps from the other side of the couch.

 

It makes Mantis smile a little but the image of Ego’s face doesn’t leave her mind all night. She wakes, screaming and flailing, her blankets flung to the end of the bed and her shirt twisted around her body.

 

“ _Shh_ ,” comes the soft voice in the dark. Kraglin’s arms wrap around her, hugging her tight. His bristly cheek brushes against hers. She wonders if she woke him and feels ashamed. “No one’s gonna hurt you when I’m here.”

 

“He can’t come back, can he?”

 

She feels him shake his head against her shoulder.

 

“How do I stop dreaming about him?”

 

Kraglin takes a moment to answer. “I don’t know.” He sounds lost. She never heard Ego say he didn’t know, so she grew up believing Ego knew everything. Ego understood the world because Ego was the world. Kraglin says he doesn't know very often. “Just think of something nice before you go to sleep, I think. It works for me.”

 

Mantis nods, lays back down. The sweat is cold on her back where it soaked through her shirt. “What do you think of?”

 

There’s another long moment before Kraglin says, “The day I got hitched. It wasn’t nothing fancy and we just went to the courthouse, but…” He shrugs.

 

Mantis understands what he means. She knows how much Kraglin loves Yondu and she wishes she could know him. “Will you stay with me?” she whispers.

 

“Just don’t step on me if you get up,” Kraglin jokes but there’s not much mirth in his voice. She can hear him as he settles down on the floor beside her bed.

 

Closing her eyes, Mantis tries to think of lovely thoughts. She thinks of flying high in the air like in _Peter Pan_ , and she dreams of living on a tall mountain. Peter is there and they hold hands and run through the snow and trees together, laughing. He is happy again like he was when they first met and they catch snowflakes on their tongues.

 

 

-

 

 

When Peter decides to go back to school, Kraglin tells Mantis that he’s going back to work and that he’s taking her with him.

 

Mantis is secretly happy about this. She loves her new house but the sadness is stifling. It hangs in the air even when she’s alone. The always-closed door to the room Kraglin shared with Yondu is a constant reminder of the man who is so important to her new family and whose absence is deeply felt.

 

She’s seen Yondu once when Kraglin took her to the hospital with the boys. She could see that he was handsome once; his square jaw reminded her of the cowboys in the movies. The tubes and machines everywhere made her nervous. She wondered if Yondu dreamed.

 

He had a black tattoo around the third finger of his left hand like Kraglin did.

 

Kraglin and the boys left little figurines on the table next to his bed. The machines beeped. The boys flung their arms around Yondu’s neck and Peter said, “Yondu, I’m so sorry, please come back,” to him. Kraglin cupped Yondu’s cheek with his hand, brushed his knuckles over the smooth brow and spent the night on the porch with a bottle of whiskey and pack of cigarettes long after the sun set.

 

Compared to the closed door and empty chairs in the living room and on the porch given a wide berth, the pawn shop is a relief. Tullk gives her an odd look when Kraglin introduces her but there must have been something in Kraglin’s eyes that made him smile at her courteously and say, “Nice to meet you” before busying himself with a jewelry display.

 

She takes her books and reads and when it’s slow, Kraglin hooks up a TV to the shelf behind the counter and they watch movies together. Sometimes she catches his mouth quirk up when a funny part happens but mostly he just looks distant.

 

She likes helping customers find items and helping Kraglin with inventory and he has her run the till sometimes to get better at math. When she does a few successful transactions and gives correct change, Kraglin gives her one of his rare smiles and a thumbs up. If she gets overwhelmed, which happens less frequently as time goes on, Kraglin lets her sit in the back office until she feels better.

 

Kraglin teaches her how to cook and she begins to make meals for herself and do laundry and she spends time with her new family and feels self-sufficient and she waits for the day when they realize that they’ve made a mistake and get rid of her.

 

It doesn’t come.

 

 

 

-

 

 

The next time Mantis meets Peter’s friends is a few days after Yondu has woken up and Kraglin is in such a good mood he insists on buying her ice cream on the way home from the store. They’re listening to the Velvet Underground and she’s licking the dried drips from her strawberry cone off her hands when they pull up and hear yelling in the backyard the second Kraglin turns off the car.

 

Kraglin mutters, “Motherfucker,” but there’s no heat in it.

 

They’re playing soccer with makeshift goals on either end of the yard; one comprised of two croquet pegs and the other of orange cones. Peter, Drax and Gamora are one team and Groot, Nebula and Rocket are the other.

 

The moment Mantis appears, Nebula fixes her with an unreadable but unnerving dark gaze. The rest of the kids just wave a little as they pause their game.

 

“I would like to join,” Mantis announces brightly. She’s never played soccer but based on what they’re doing, the rules seem to be “shove the opposite team as hard as you can while kicking the ball down the field.” Kraglin nods at her, squeezes her shoulder and slips inside.

 

Peter gives her an enthusiastic look. “Yeah, sure,” he says. “You can join our team. That’s cool.”

 

“We have an even number,” Gamora protests.

 

“No, six isn’t an even number,” Peter corrects. It doesn’t sound right, even to Mantis, but she’s also sure her math skills could still use some work, so she just nods along. “Seven is an even number.”

 

“Seven is not an even number,” Drax starts to say but Peter kicks him in the ankle. “Why would you kick me?” Drax continues. “Seven is an odd number. She throws off the teams.”

 

“If she doesn’t know how to play, then she shouldn’t,” Gamora adds, putting her hands on her hips.

 

“You guys, stop! Just let Mantis play.” Peter looks like he’s at the end of his rope but he smiles at Mantis when she walks onto the grass. “You can do midfield.”

 

“What does that mean?” Mantis asks.

 

“Look, she don’t even know what midfield is!” Rocket snarks from where he’s standing in the goal on the opposite end of the field. He scratches at his scars, crosses his arms and glowers.

 

“Rocket, shut up,” Peter bellows and he jogs over to Mantis. Lowering his voice to a comforting level, he tells her, “All you’ve gotta do is steal the ball from the other team and pass it up to us. If you can pass it to Gamora, do it, she’s the best. Don’t let the other team get the ball on our side of the field. Um, just try your hardest. We’re just playing for fun, okay?” He gives her a thumbs up that reminds her of Kraglin and she beams at him.

 

“If you’re done wasting time, we’re playing now,” Rocket grumbles. He drop kicks the ball back into play where Nebula pounces on it instantly and dribbles it down the field. She’s fast and graceful. Mantis is in awe and can’t help but stare at her before Nebula slams her entire body into Mantis and knocks her down on her way to the goal where she effortlessly kicks it in.

 

Mantis lays on the ground, winded. She hears Peter squawk, “Nebula! What the hell!” Drax roars with laughter and Peter yells at him too. Mantis’s entire body hurts. She stares up at the sky, panting.

 

Nebula’s head suddenly appears in her field of vision, staring down at her with her huge dark eyes and offers Mantis a hand. “Next time, brace yourself and hit me back,” she advises. It occurs to Mantis that she’s never heard Nebula speak before. Her voice is low and rough. Mantis’s stomach does a funny dip like it does when she misses a stair in the dark. Nebula’s hand is firm and strong as she pulls Mantis to her feet easily. “I promise you can’t hurt me.”

 

“Oh,” is all Mantis can manage and Nebula glides away to take her position for kick off opposite Gamora.

 

Drax ambles over to Mantis and claps a hand on her shoulder. “Would you like me to slam my elbow into her nose for you?”

 

Mantis blinks. “No, thank you.”

 

Drax nods. His face is impassive as he watches Peter easily weave his way toward the other team’s goal before Nebula descends, steals the ball and makes her way down the field.

 

To Mantis’s credit, she moves out of the way this time. However, Nebula changes course and slams into her anyway, dropping her.

 

Before Nebula can score, Gamora steals the ball and passes to Peter who kicks it in a high, smooth arc into the goal. Mantis can’t cheer but she claps weakly from her place on the ground.

 

Nebula appears over her. “I said to brace yourself and hit me back,” she chastises, helping Mantis to her feet again. “Next time, take me out.”

 

Mantis is torn between fascination and terror. She can’t tear her eyes away as Nebula jogs over to high-five Rocket.

 

“If you would like, I can trip her and then collapse on her. My bulk is far greater than hers. I would crush her easily,” Drax advises Mantis. “I am more than willing to avenge my friends when they have been wronged, even though Nebula is also my friend.”

 

 _Friend_. It makes Mantis smile.

 

“Mantis, are you okay?” Peter asks. His brow is creased in concern. “I dunno what Nebula’s deal is. She’s not usually this aggressive. I can make her leave if you want. Well, I’ll get Kraglin to.” He helps Mantis brush grass off of her back.

 

“You do not need to do that. I’m having fun,” Mantis tells him. She can feel her face glowing. For the first time in her life, she feels like the kids she used to watch on the street when Ego would take her to the city, the kids with friends and parents who loved them. Kids who were allowed to talk to people and read whatever they wanted and had freedom.

 

Peter smiles at her and sprints back to kick off against Rocket.

 

When Rocket passes the ball to Groot, Groot glances at Mantis and then passes to her. Rocket lets out a shriek. “Groot, what the hell are you doing? She’s on the other team!”

 

Groot gestures as Mantis. She still doesn’t really understand sign language but she knows what he means and she glances around before she sees Gamora sprint to an open position. “Go ahead,” Drax nods. Mantis brings her leg back and kicks the ball as hard as she can. It skids across the ground and doesn’t really go where Mantis intended but Gamora is on it in an instant, dribbling down the field and kicking between Rocket’s legs into the goal.

 

“Well done,” Drax congratulates her. “All you need to do is believe in yourself.” Mantis grins at him and Drax shakes his head. “You should not do that. Your smile is awful.” Mantis covers her mouth with her hand.

 

Nebula saunters over. “Good job,” she says. She punches Mantis hard in the shoulder and Mantis feels her arm go dead. Nebula’s dark eyes bore into her before she walks away.

 

 

-

 

 

One evening, Mantis wanders into the backyard to see Kraglin throwing his knife at the target on the fence. Peter and Groot are watching but Rocket is sitting on the porch, fixing the chain on his bike. Mantis sits down next to him and says, “Hello.”

 

Rocket glances at her and grunts something. His brow is furrowed, mouth twisted. His glasses are slipping down the bridge of his nose. “Can I try those on?” Mantis asks.

 

Rocket stares at her, wary. Then he sighs. Takes them off and hands them to her. “Knock yourself out. Just don’t put your fingers on the lenses or they’ll get smudged.”

 

She puts them on and they make everything distorted. She feels nauseous. “Why do you wear them?” she asks, passing them back. She is very careful and holds them gently by the frame as she passes them back.

 

“Ain’t like I got a choice. Can’t see shit without them.” Rocket scratches at his scarred face absentmindedly as he pushes on the pedal.

 

“Do your scars hurt?” Mantis asks.

 

Rocket looks taken aback by the question. “Uh, no,” he says finally. “They just itch sometimes.”

 

“How did you get them?”

 

“Didn’t Ego teach you manners?” Rocket mutters.

 

Mantis blushes a deep red and looks down at her hands. “I am sorry,” she murmurs. “I just want to get to know you. I know you do not like me but I like you.”

 

Rocket is quiet for a long time. He keeps messing with his bicycle chain before he says, “A fire.” His jaw is tight.

 

“Oh,” Mantis says. “I am very sorry that happened to you.”

 

“Yeah, well.” Rocket shrugs. “It’s in the past now. It don’t matter anymore.” He flips his bike back onto its tires and pushes it around the porch to test it out. When he’s pleased with it, he flips down the kickstand and sits down next to her. “I don’t _not_ like you,” he says after a moment.

 

Mantis brightens. “Thank you.”

 

“I can’t believe you like me.”

 

“I like you very much,” Mantis nods. “You have been much nicer since Yondu woke up. Not to me, but to Peter and Kraglin.”

 

Rocket winces. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick,” he mutters.

 

“I understand why you were. You missed Yondu.” Mantis reaches out tentatively and puts her hand on his shoulder for a moment before placing it back in her lap. She smiles at him.

 

“Want me to teach you how to play soccer?” Rocket asks after a moment. “To, I dunno, make up for being such an asshole?”

 

“I already know how to play soccer,” Mantis protests.

 

Rocket snorts. “If you say so.”

 

“I do! I passed it to Gamora. Drax said I did very well.”

 

“Oh, well, if _Drax_ said you did good,” Rocket says, holding up his hands in mock surrender. It makes Mantis smile. He stands and straddles his bike again. “Just, y’know. If you want lessons.”

 

 

-

 

 

“We’re going to Drax’s tonight,” Peter tells Kraglin when he and Groot and Rocket return from school one afternoon. Mantis is reading a magazine for teen girls from the library and Kraglin is watching a movie about a couple on the run from the law. He grunts in response to Peter’s statement.

 

“So…” Peter wheedles, making his voice light. He puts his hands on Kraglin’s shoulders, massaging them and ignores when Kraglin tries to bat him away. “We need you to buy us some refreshments.”

 

“You got refreshment money?” Kraglin asks.

 

Groot roots around in his pocket and pulls out a crumpled five-dollar bill, handing it to Kraglin triumphantly. Rocket’s scarred face lights up.

 

Kraglin rolls his eyes. “Gonna cost more than five bucks.”

 

“Come on, Kraglin,” Rocket whines. “If we don’t get it from you, we’ll get it from someone else. Someone somehow even more unsavory.”

 

After a few moments of letting Peter and Rocket whine and pout, Kraglin stands, cracks his neck and shuffles out the door leading to the garage and returns a few moments later with two twelve packs of beer. He hands it to Rocket who looks triumphant and begins to unpack the cans and put them in his backpack.

 

“Mantis, do you wanna come with us?” Peter asks. “Drax said he’d love for you to come.”

 

Mantis turns to Kraglin nervously. She rarely leaves the house without him, usually just taking long walks with Groot around the neighborhood to look at the trees and flowers and occasionally with Peter to the gas station to get some candy. Kraglin just nods at her. “I was planning on going to the hospital to see Yondu,” he says. “This’ll be a lot more fun for you. You should go.”

 

The trips to the hospital scare her, bringing back memories of her time there after leaving Ego. She is glad that Kraglin understands.

 

“I would love to go to Drax’s,” she nods.

 

Before they leave, Kraglin pulls her aside. “If it gets too much for you, just call me,” he tells her in a low voice. “Don’t matter what time it is, or where I am, I’ll come and get you, okay? And don’t let them make you do nothing you don’t wanna do, okay? Just tell them to fuck off. In fact, tell me and I’ll make them fuck off.” He gives her a kiss on the temple and pulls on his jacket. “I’ll see you boners later,” he announces to the three boys. “I’ve got a hot date.”

 

“Have fun eating hospital food and taking out Yondu’s catheter to fuck,” Rocket says with a thrust of his hips from where he’s lacing up his shoes on the couch.

 

Kraglin taps the side of his nose, winks at Rocket and grins before he jabs his finger at Peter. “Gotta talk to you, Quill.” Kraglin drags him into the kitchen. Mantis can’t hear them, but she can see that Kraglin looks very serious and Peter is nodding along, holding up his hands in a surrendering motion a few times.

 

“What are they talking about?” Mantis whispers to Rocket, who shrugs.

 

“Kraglin’s probably telling him not to get drunk and stupid in front of Gamora. Sadly, that is Quill and he can’t help but be stupid and he deals with that by getting drunk and doing even stupider shit to try to impress her, and he deals with doing stupid shit by getting even drunker, et cetera, et cetera et cetera.” Rocket puts on his backpack and smiles at her.

 

The walk to Drax’s house is cold, even wearing one of Peter’s flannel shirts under her jacket. Rocket tells them about something that happened in his advanced placement chemistry class and Groot links arms with Mantis and times their steps together. Fallen leaves crunch under their feet while Rocket explains to Peter what an asshole some kid named Korath was.

 

Drax is beaming when he opens the door, letting out an excited yell when Rocket holds up his backpack full of beer and ushering them all in. “Were you only able to get beer?”

 

“Nah, check this out.” Rocket takes the beer cans out of his backpack and then brings out something wrapped in several paper bags. “Stole this bad boy when Kraglin was in the other room. Maybe this’ll teach him to only give us beer.” It’s a brand-new bottle of vodka. Drax and Peter let out a triumphant whoop.

 

“I have orange juice and soda if you’d prefer to mix your drinks,” Drax says to Mantis. “Of course, as I am not a child, I drink mine straight.”

 

Mantis doesn’t know what to say so she nods seriously at him. Groot rolls his eyes.

 

Gamora and Nebula are already playing pool in the basement when Drax leads them down. Mantis feels herself blush when Nebula stares at her. Gamora notices and nudges Nebula, muttering something that makes Nebula look away.

 

Mantis watches them play pool for a moment before Drax and Rocket drag her away to try darts. She’s better at it than anyone expected; she wonders if it has any relation to Kraglin teaching her to throw knives. A few times, she casts furtive glances in Nebula’s direction, wanting her to notice and be impressed. She wants Nebula to know that she can do things.

 

After a while, they get bored of games and sit in a circle on the carpeted floor. Peter, Rocket and Drax are doing shots of straight vodka while Gamora and Nebula sip it mixed with soda and juice. Groot sticks with water and Mantis holds an open can of beer in her hand. She took one drink and discreetly spit it back into the opening. Maybe she’ll get a glass of just orange soda or water when she went upstairs next.

 

They’re playing a game called “Who Would You Rather?” and, as far as Mantis can tell, it’s one of the games where no one wins and everyone laughs and has a good time. Someone says two names and everyone else says who they would rather have sex with. Mantis has never had sex; she’s never even kissed anyone. She asked Kraglin about sex and he got very serious and told her to only do it when she was ready. She wasn’t sure when she would be ready and Kraglin had said that she’d know when she was.

 

Mantis wonders if Nebula has ever had sex or kissed anyone. Nebula is rolling her eyes whenever anyone answers and refuses to play the game.

 

“Ronan or…. Ms. Rael?” Rocket asks.

 

Peter pulls up a picture of Ronan on his phone so that Mantis can play. He’s a sullen-looking boy with dark hair and a sallow face. Mantis shakes her head. The staff photo of Ms. Rael shows a very attractive woman with a strong profile, red lips and a shock of white hair twisted in an elegant style on her head.

 

“Rael all the way, dude,” Peter answers.

 

“I agree,” Mantis nods.

 

Drax thinks very hard about his question. “Yondu or Mr. Saal?”

 

“Mr. Saal at least looks like he knows how to wash,” Gamora says primly.

 

“I would rather lay down in traffic than touch either of them,” mutters Nebula. Mantis laughs at this, perhaps too loudly. Everyone stares at her. Nebula’s cheeks darken and she looks away.

 

“I’m going Yondu one hundred percent,” Peter announces before taking another shot of vodka.

 

Mantis is grateful that this draws everyone’s gaze from her. Everyone gapes at Peter and Gamora’s mouth drops in horror. “Dude, he’s basically your _dad_ ,” Rocket says.

 

Peter seems to realize what he said and flushes a deep red. “Oh, come on,” he protests. “Do you not think Yondu is sexy?” When everyone shakes their heads, Peter begins to sputter. “I’m the only person here who would fuck Yondu?” he shouts. He looks at Mantis pleadingly. “Mantis, dude. Come on. You’ve seen Yondu. You’re a girl. Wouldn’t you fuck him?”

 

“I do not think I would want to fuck men,” Mantis shrugs. “I am sure he is attractive to you, though.”

 

Something seems to click in Peter’s alcohol fogged brain. “Are you a lesbian?”

 

Nebula scoffs. “As if being a lesbian is the only reason someone wouldn’t want to have intercourse with your dirty and strange father figure.” But she’s eying Mantis now with interest.

 

“No, seriously, Mantis, dude, if you are, we’re cool with it. Just wanna let you know. I mean, obviously. Look at Yondu and Kraglin. We’d be hypocrites not to be. But, like, it’s totally cool if you are.” Peter gives her a thumbs up. “Totally accepting here. No judgement. You don’t have to hide anything.”

 

Mantis isn’t sure what to say back so she returns the thumbs up. She doesn’t know what a lesbian is but she doesn’t like that it’s something that apparently needs to be accepted. Did others think it was a bad thing? She steals a glance at Nebula who is staring hard at her. Mantis’s heart hammers in her chest. Her face and the back of her neck feel too warm. Maybe Nebula thought it was a bad thing. She couldn’t stand that thought.

 

“Leave her alone,” Nebula growls at Peter, who is still staring at Mantis with his open, innocent face.

 

“I admire your attempts to divert attention to Mantis from your own desire to have sex with your father figure, Peter Quill,” Drax says, “But it does not change the fact that you just admitted something embarrassing.”

 

“Yeah, dude, you might as well go lay down in traffic after saying that,” Rocket agrees. “There’s no coming back from saying you wanna fuck Yondu.”

 

“Guys! Come on!” Peter is pleading now. “It’s not weird!”

 

“It’s a little weird,” Gamora murmurs, pouring more vodka into her drink.

 

Mantis smiles and laughs along and feels Nebula’s eyes on her the entire rest of the night.

 

 

-

 

 

Peter and Rocket are loud and drunk on the walk home, throwing rocks at the streetlight poles and shoving each other off the sidewalk and into the street. Mantis and Groot walk behind them and occasionally herd them out of the way of cars.

 

Kraglin is asleep in his room when they come in and Mantis pats Peter’s back as he vomits into the toilet and helps him into bed while Groot takes off Rocket’s shoes and tucks the blankets around him. All the while, Mantis thinks about Nebula’s dark eyes and broad shoulders and the way she didn’t stop staring at Mantis the entire night and she dreams of the way Nebula ran up and down the soccer field.

 

The next morning, Mantis finds Kraglin in the kitchen, making himself breakfast. He’s listening to one of Peter’s tapes and humming along to “I Want You Back.” He looks happier than Mantis has ever seen him and he smiles at her when she comes in. “How was your party?” he asks.

 

“Fine. Am I a lesbian?” Mantis sits down at the table and rests her chin in her hands.

 

“Um.” Kraglin raises his eyebrows at her as he pushes his scrambled eggs around in the pan, “I think that’s sort of up to you to decide.” His mouth turns down at the corners like it frequently does when he’s uncomfortable or doesn’t know the answer to something.

 

Mantis considers this. “I think I have a crush on Nebula,” she announces.

 

“Nebula?” Kraglin echoes. He looks at her for a moment. “She’s a little mean, ain’t she?”

 

“Oh,” Mantis says, wilting. She looks at her hands and wills her tears away. “You do not approve.”

 

Kraglin turns off the stove and sits down next to her. “I don’t disapprove,” he says gently. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I just – I know how shitty people can be and I don’t want them being shitty to you, okay?”

 

“You’re worried that Nebula will be unkind to me?” Mantis asks.

 

Kraglin sighs. Shrugs. Reaches out and touches her arm. “I just know that Nebula can be a little aggressive sometimes. I don’t like the idea of you getting hurt.”

 

“But maybe I will not be hurt,” Mantis says. Ego would have never tolerated this backtalk but Kraglin doesn’t seem to mind. “Maybe it will work out.”

 

“Just don’t let anyone treat you mean, okay?” Kraglin says. “You don’t deserve no one treating you mean. If anyone starts making you feel small or like shit, get out of there.”

 

Mantis nods. “I will not let anyone treat me like that.” Ego always made her feel small. She will not let anyone else do it to her, she tells herself. Not even if she likes them, and she likes Nebula very much. She will be strong for herself.

 

“And if they do and you’re scared to get out, let me know. Don’t matter what I’m doing. I’ll make ‘em regret it.” Kraglin stands up from the table and serves up two plates of scrambled eggs and toast. He listens as Mantis tells him everything at the party when Peter and Rocket stumble in, squinting and rubbing their temples. Groot joins them a moment later looking well-rested and cheerful.

 

“Keep it down,” Rocket mutters to no one in particular. “You’re so fucking loud.”

 

“That’s what you get for stealing my vodka, you little shit,” Kraglin says. He sounds pleased. “I told Yondu about it last night. He said you’re both on dish duty for a week for that shit.”

 

“You _tattled_?” Peter sounds aghast. “You tattled on us to Yondu?”

 

“Man, even five miles away with his guts freshly sewn in and he’s still telling us what to do.” Rocket grabs Kraglin’s fork and steals the last bite of eggs. “What a joke.” He lets out a yelp when Kraglin steals the fork back and raps him on the knuckles with it.

 

“You don’t touch a man’s liquor or his food.” Kraglin finishes his toast and hands Rocket his plate. “Yondu says if you don’t do the dishes, he’ll come over here, rip his guts out again and leave them in your beds.” He’s talking louder than usual, his voice making both Rocket and Peter groan and clutch their heads in their hands. “And he promises to tell you all about how he’s been shitting in a bag for the last few weeks.”

 

“Yondu is such a sadistic bastard,” Rocket mutters. He puts Mantis’s plate in the dishwasher.

 

 

-

 

 

Yondu is asleep when Mantis pokes her head in his and Kraglin’s room. She can’t help but stare at him in wonder – here is the man she has heard so much about and he’s finally home and everyone is breathing easier with him here. She wants to touch his face to make sure he’s flesh and blood under her fingers and not some figment of her imagination.

 

His thin mouth moves and his voice rasps out, “You gonna stare all day, girly?”

 

Mantis yelps a bit and jumps back. Her face flushes. Heat crawls from her hairline down her neck. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I have just heard so much about you and we have never really spoken. I wanted to see you.

 

Yondu opens one eye and stretches a little on his pillows. “You didn’t have nothing better to do, huh?” he asks. His voice is soft, tired.

 

Mantis shrugs. It’s early, barely dawn. She can hear Kraglin down in the kitchen but the boys are still asleep in their room. Everyone is staying home from school for a few days. “Usually Kraglin and I are going to the store by now. I could not sleep.”

 

“Mm.” Yondu nods and closes his eyes.

 

“Thank you,” Mantis blurts out.

 

Yondu cracks one eye at her. “What’s that?”

 

“Thank you,” Mantis repeats. “It is because of you that I am here and not with Ego. And you welcomed me into your home. I am grateful.”

 

Yondu looks uncomfortable. He starts rummaging through the bedside table. “Ain’t like I did none of that. It was mostly Krag.” He slams the drawer shut with an irritated sigh and leans back on his pillows.

 

“You have not kicked me out,” Mantis presses. “Thank you.”

 

“You can show your gratitude by finding an old man his smokes.”

 

Mantis shakes her head. She was waiting for this. “Kraglin says the doctor says you are not supposed to smoke anymore.”

 

“Sorry, honey, doctor’s orders.” Kraglin appears in the doorway with two steaming mugs. Yondu’s face brightens instantly before souring and Kraglin walks across the floor in his bare feet and pajamas.

 

“That doctor can go fuck himself,” Yondu grumbles. He takes one of the mugs and squeezes Kraglin’s rear, pulling him back into bed. “Doesn’t know that smoking’s what’s kept me going all these years.”

 

Kraglin snorts. Yondu pulls him in for a messy kiss and Mantis looks away demurely when she catches a shiny flash of tongue. She wonders what it would be like to kiss Nebula with tongues.

 

“Girlie,” Yondu announces when he comes up for air. Mantis looks back at them. Yondu has an arm draped over Kraglin’s shoulders while Kraglin is burrowed against his side. “How’s going to school next semester sound?”

 

Mantis feels like a balloon is expanding in her chest. _School_. Other kids. Books. New things to try. She tries and fails to smother her grin. “I would like that very much,” she manages, covering her mouth with her hands to hide her glee.

 

“See, baby?” Yondu murmurs to Kraglin. He presses a kiss to Kraglin’s hair. “I told you she’d be okay with it.”

 

“He’s a child-rearing expert,” Kraglin tells Mantis. Yondu scoffs and pulls Kraglin’s hair.

 

“No, I can just tell that the girl’s going to go stir crazy with just you as company for the rest of her life,” Yondu counters and Mantis leaves when they start kissing again.

 

 

-

 

 

“Hi,” Nebula says uncertainly.

 

Mantis glances up from her book and tries to control the blush she feels spread over her face. “Hello.”

 

“I am going to sit down next to you,” Nebula announces and Mantis shifts over on the porch swing to make room, putting her book in her lap. Everyone else is inside playing video games but Mantis snuck out to read in the quiet of the backyard. “I like your hair,” Nebula adds after a moment.

 

Nodding self-consciously, Mantis pushes a short strand behind her ear. Kraglin let her cut it short and dye it a platinum blonde and she’s not sure if she likes it, but it was a decision she made and so she’ll never regret it. “Thank you. I have always liked how you shave your head.”

 

“Thank you.” Nebula’s voice is as stiff as her back. Then: “Gamora says I should ask you if you would like to have lunch with me when school starts in a few weeks.”

 

Mantis is taken aback. “How did you know I was going to go to school with you?” She didn’t think Nebula paid attention to things like that. She didn’t think Nebula paid attention to her.

 

“Because your brother has a big mouth and told my sister that you went with him and Yondu to meet Ms. Rael to enroll in classes.” Nebula rolls her eyes like it’s obvious.

 

Meeting with Ms. Rael was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of Mantis’s life. Yondu had insisted on going instead of Kraglin and he’d swaggered and winked and flirted his way through the meeting, insisting on calling Ms. Rael “Irani” and the strangest part was that, despite her red mouth being a firm line during the meeting, she’d pulled Yondu aside after and given him her “direct line.”

 

“Why would you want to have lunch with me?” Mantis asks. She holds her breath.

 

“Because I have a crush on you.” Again, Nebula says it like it’s obvious, but she blushes so hard that her entire pale scalp turns a flaming red.

 

“Then why did you knock me down during soccer?” Mantis demands.

 

“I was _flirting_. That’s how Gamora flirts with Quill. I thought you would like it. You two are related.”

 

Mantis lets out her breath. Everything makes sense now. Gamora and Peter had no issues shoving each other up and down the soccer field or watching TV or playing games, but Mantis wasn’t made that way. “I do not like it,” she murmurs. “I like you, but I will not let you treat me poorly. If we are going to… be together, we will have respect for each other.” She folds her hands in her lap to keep from twisting her fingers. “I do not want to push you down. I would like to be kind to you.”

 

Nebula stares hard at her. She licks her lips. Mantis has never noticed before how thick Nebula’s dark brown lashes are, how round her eyes are, how flawless her skin is. Her stomach dips and flutters. “I’m sorry,” Nebula whispers. “I don’t… I don’t know how to be kind or gentle.”

 

Mantis shifts closer to her and reaches out. When Nebula doesn’t pull away, she rests a hand on hers. “We can learn together.”

 

Nebula nods. Shuffles a little so she’s sitting closer to Mantis and rests her head on Mantis’s shoulder. Mantis can feel her fear, her anger, her nerves radiate off of her in waves so she strokes Nebula’s hand until she begins to relax.

 

They sit holding hands with Nebula’s head on Mantis’s shoulder, watching the sun dip below the horizon until Kraglin calls them to come in for dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> add me on twitter for my inane ramblings @cheryltunts


End file.
